• Technically is over 3oz of liquid and always has “I am not my own carry-on” argument with clueless TSA staff
• WTF are the writers of Lost smoking? Do they make this shit up as they go along?
• Sushi makers in North America rarely strive for perfect balance with 100 grains of rice per portion
• Can’t figure out how to copy and paste on iPhone
• Where’s East Virginia?
• Does not care for brutish and ill-considered nickname given by Matt Lauer on Today show appearance — Gum Guy
• Promised he’d see “Cowboys aplenty”
• Was waiting for Cloverfield monster to erupt into giant mass of penises. Never happened.

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Although its usefulness in clearing out scary haunted houses would later prove invaluable, the invention of the Poltergust 3000 ghost vacuum was an accident. Professor E. Gadd spent most of the 1970s trying to invent a bagless vacuum cleaner. By 1981, he had finally created a working prototype, only to find out that rival inventor James Dyson had recently patented the same idea.

Demoralized, Gadd filed a separate patent application for the vacuum prototype’s ability to also capture undead spirits in haunted locales. To his surprise, the patent was approved, though the market for such a device was extremely limited.

Given the choice, Gadd will tell you today, he would have gladly chosen to have been known as the inventor of the E. Gadd It Sucks! bagless vacuum cleaner rather than the inventor of the Poltergust 3000.

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